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4 Tips to Starting Every Day Great in Your Marriage

Posted on: April 1st, 2016 by Dr. Angela Bisignano

Starting your day off great in your marriage matters. We all know that marriage takes time, thought and intentionality. We can all get busy with our family, careers and activities. That’s why how we start the day off matters, especially in our marriage. Starting our day with moments of connection with our spouse can make a key difference. It can help us feel supported, loved and to strengthen our marriage bond.

Another important reason exists as to why starting the day off well with your marriage is so important. You are actually laying the foundation for what will become life long habits in your children’s lives. Our words certainly carry weight with our children, however what you and your spouse model to them on a consistent basis speaks volumes. That’s why letting them see what you do also helps them to build healthy relationship imprints that can impact their future marriage.

My husband and I are celebrating our 26th wedding anniversary this year. Over the years we have done four things on a consistent basis, almost every morning since we have been married. These four habits have strengthened our marriage and served our family well.

Here are 4 Marriage Tips to Starting Every Day Good

We pray together: Central to our relationship is our faith in God and the Bible. They are the foundation for our marriage. The Word of God and prayer encourage us, help to strengthen us during challenging times, provide direction, inform our values, give us peace and hope. Praying on a regular basis keeps what matters to us at the forefront of our lives, as well as asking for God’s intervention in our lives. In the Book of James in the Bible it says, The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (5:16)

We give a brief over view of our day: Each morning my husband and I share what our day looks like with each other. We simply talk about what our plans: our meetings, important events and people we may see or visit. It is not a long conversation, but rather a quick overview. In the process what we are doing is connecting with each other. What we are communicating to each other is that your life matters and I want to know what is going. It really helps us to stay focused on what is occurring on a daily basis with each other’s lives. It reminds us that we are living our lives out together, not alone. Thomas Merton reminds us in his words about relationships, We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.

We share a kiss: Keeping affection alive is crucial to any marriage. It is easy to become distant in this area if you are not intentional about being affectionate. Sharing a kiss as we are walking out the door is one way we stay affectionate. It is an important way to say we care about one another. Although there are many things we can do to keep affection and romance alive, starting your day with a kiss is a simple, but meaningful way to say, “I care.” I love the words once written by Sylvia Plath, Kiss me and you will see how important I am.  

We say the words; I love you: Our words carry a lot of significance. What we say and don’t say to each other can make all the difference in the world. I love the idea that kind and encouraging words echo into eternity. I am still amazed in my practice to hear of parents who fail to tell their children the words they most desperately long to hear, I love you. It starts with you. Speaking these words to your spouse is important for your children’s wellbeing. Never underestimate the power of your words. Dorothy L. Sayers conveys so much in her words, I love you. I am at rest with you. I have come home.

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